The Problem with Birthdays!!
Today is my birthday. Hip hip hooray!! 45 years old. I am a summer baby, and a true baby I am. The youngest of the whole lot (and I mean a lot...that's another story, though!). Every year I get to my birthday with a loving, gift-giving husband and a lot of angst. There is so much pressure in birthdays. What do I want? What do I want to do?? What will make it a perfect day for me???
And therein lies the problem. ME! Every year I get to my birthday and there I am. Still wanting, wishing, and waiting for the perfect day. And yet all the while, trying hard not to put my hope in that day or in certain expectations or attitudes.
I have so many amazing people in my life wanting to fulfill all my dreams! My husband with a date in a borrowed Corvette, driving country roads at sunset, followed by a yummy dinner and even a pedicure (he watched!). Then, a sweet sister and mom blessing me with snacks and a movie on the eve of my birthday. Another friend offered me the moon today, I accepted a lunch date instead. She actually offered me two days in a row of "whatever" I wanted, because I am the birthday girl!
Okay, so here is the problem. When I succumb to the temptation, buy in to the press about me, and try to fill my day up with me... I. Am. Miserable! I know this to be true thanks to years and years of practice... and not just on my birthday, that's for sure! For awhile, I wanted to declare that my kids' birthdays should be a holiday for me, too. After all, I carried them those 9+ months!
I'd love to say that "In my Bible reading today, I found..." but the fact is I didn't have to read my Bible today to know what I know about filling myself up with me. I know that God made me, loves me, delights in me, even! Why else would He have gone to such lengths to demonstrate His love for me?? But when I love me, I'm left empty, disappointed, and cranky (no need to take a poll--I'm sure close friends and family would vouch for that--except for my mom, she still thinks I'm perfect!).
So today, I'm hoping not to focus on me. I'd like to focus on the One worthy of focus. The One who demonstrated His love ultimately through death on the cross, but also daily through gifts such as singing birds, a spotted fawn on my walk with a dear friend this morning, a day of being able to open the house because it's not too hot or humid, strong and healthy sons, a godly and caring daughter, way more friends than I deserve, ... and the list goes on and on and on.
I'd invite you to do the same today. Don't look to me or you or any other created being. Look to the One true God who loves and provides for us so abundantly and graciously. Praise Him with me today!!